Comments on: How do you deal with different parenting styles?

By: Cathy

Cathy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:09:59 +0000

If you one you is the step-parent, that person must defer to the biological parent and in general not do any disciplining. My ex and I had our differences but not really over our kids. If you are compatible before you get married then you should have similar outlooks on how to raise children. We loved our kids, gave them plenty of attention, expected the best from them, and saw them as good. Guess what? It worked out great! There was little or no "disciplining" needed. No spanking, hitting, teasing, humiliating, withholding. Treat your kids like you want to be treated and they’ll live up to your expectations. BE loving and so will they. SHARE and so will they. DON’T HIT and they won’t either. What’s to disagree about? Model the kind of relationship that teaches kids kindness, consideration, and love.

If you must discipline, read about natural consequences as a form of discipline. It’s the best for teaching children I think. Here is an example, you give a kid $10 to spend at the faire, he spends it all in ten minutes. Consequence? He’s out of money. He can just walk around now and enjoy himself that way. Of course, you have to make it clear in advance that that’s all you are going to give him.

Children come into this world basically GOOD. I don’t care what anyone else says, I know in my heart that that is the truth. It’s the adults that screw them up.

Best of luck to you.
References :
life experience

By: nicola k

nicola k — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:27:59 +0000

all the time , think most couple do, drives u mad dun it,
References :

By: Kat H

Kat H — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:04:59 +0000

Well we disagree a lot. He's more strict than I am. What it comes down to is who is with the children more, at least for us. Since I am a stay at home mother, my parenting style is the dominant one. If he wants to be strict when he's taking care of them, that's fine.
References :

By: boxleaves

boxleaves — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:22:59 +0000

You have to come to an agreement on how things should be done. You may not be completely happy with every choice he makes and he may not be happy with yours but you are in this together so you have to figure it out.
References :

By: inoffensive nickname

inoffensive nickname — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:09:59 +0000

Yes, but never in front of the children. We sit and negotiate, and never undermine each other. We agreed that when we disagree, it will be away from the kids and if one of us ends up revising punishment, both will explain it to the kids, and the reasons why.

No matter what you decide, if you decide to stick together and be consistent, you can make it work. The worst thing you can do to your kids is be inconsistent or let them play one parent against the other.

Make a pact to consult each other on important decisions, and to NEVER let inlaws interfere.
References :
One thing we rarely argue about is parenting, and we have different parenting styles. We negotiate a LOT.

By: RetroRanch

RetroRanch — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:52:59 +0000

There are always different styles. And you get to argue about it. But, in the end, if you don't agree on the goals and rules, you're just jerking the kid around. Ask your mother.
References :

By: i like honest answers :)

i like honest answers :) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:04:59 +0000

i don't i only deal with my own!
References :

By: abc

abc — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:51:59 +0000

compromise
References :